Welcome to “On the Horizon”

Issue 87:  Raising Responsible and Respectable Children

On the Horizon is an award winning weekly ezine for parents of children with developmental disabilities who want simple, effective strategies to reduce stress, support their child’s development, and improve quality of life for the whole family.

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Great Resources

A Note from Nicole: Family Time

Idea of the Week:  Q-Tip Snowflake

Feature Article: Raising Responsible and Respectable Children

The Horizons Team Recommends: Schooling Minds®; Parent Success Cards

Upcoming Events: CORE Approach Parent Teleseminar; Family Fun Night

Hi Everyone!

My colleagues and I are back in the office after enjoying a long weekend with family and friends to celebrate Thanksgiving here in the States.  It was a quiet holiday at my house this year, as most of our extended family members were not in town.  However, I enjoyed time with my husband and children without a lot of things that had to get done.  We even got the house decorated for Christmas, which is a favorite activity for the kids!

In our last edition of the newsletter we officially launched the new Schooling Minds site designed for education professionals.  We are thrilled that some of you have already become members, and look forward to welcoming many more of you to the site in the coming weeks.  I conducted a teleseminar yesterday on anxiety symptoms and treatment, so those of you who are members will be able to access that recording soon.  Teleseminars on a variety of topics are just one of the sources of information you will find on the Schooling Minds (for professionals) and Raising Minds (for parents) sites.

This week’s feature article, written by Michelle, spotlights important strategies for parents who desire to raise responsible and respectable children.  We all need a refresher on these mindsets and behaviors once in a while!

Make it a fabulous week!

Looking to the horizon,

Q-Tip Snowflake

For this project you will need Elmer’s glue and q-tips (whole and cut in half). Lay a whole q-tip on a piece of wax paper. In the center of that q-tip squirt a circle of Elmer’s glue. Start laying half q-tips around it, which will then create a q-tip snowflake. You can make all different kinds of designs – making just a small snowflake or quite a large one by using many q-tips. You can event add glitter to your snowflake by taking glue and adding it to the q-tip and then sprinkling glitter on it. Make sure the glue is really dry before taking the snowflake off of the wax paper. You can then add ribbon to your snowflakes and decorate with them!

Raising Responsible and Respectable Children

By: Michelle VanderHeide, BSW

If anybody says that parenting is easy, they must not have kids! As a parent of three wonderful children, I have found that each one needs to be parented differently. One child needs to be held often, one needs opportunities to talk, and the other thrives on quality time. One is strong willed, another is a people pleaser, and the other is just busy! I’ve read many books, listened to several books on tape, and watched my fair share of DVD’s about different approaches to parenting; but a few things consistently resurface as important strategies when raising responsible and respectable children. These strategies work, because they’re not about the children, they’re about you – the parent. The first thing to do is write down the areas that you want to work on with your child. Speaking disrespectfully, hitting, potty training, walking off while you are talking, and homework issues are just a few of the problem areas you may be facing. Pick one thing to work on at a time, so as not to overwhelm yourself. I’ll use resistance to come in from outside as an example for this article. Once you’ve picked your battle, put your boxing gloves on and follow the guidelines below.

Remain Calm: One of the easiest parenting mistakes is allowing yourself to get upset. Once you are angry, you have given your child control and now need a parent to calm you down. The best way to have control is to remain calm; so take a deep breath, take a timeout for yourself if needed, then return to your child and talk calmly and respectfully to him/her – when you are both ready.  Show your child that s/he deserves that respect. Demonstration is an important parenting tool; so if you scream at your child, chances are s/he’ll scream back. If you treat him/her with respect, that respect will be returned. Get down on your child’s level, or take seats next to each other to talk about the issue at hand.

Determine the Consequence: Each problem you face with your child(ren) will require different consequences. While you are calm, determine what an appropriate consequence will be for the problem area you are facing. Make sure the consequence is understandable to the child, that you are able to follow through on the consequence, and that the child will want to avoid that consequence. If you child is refusing to come in from outside “If you don’t come in right now, you can’t play outside for the rest of the week.” It sounds like a horrible threat; but is that one that you really want to follow through on? Instead, find a consequence that is easy to live with. “I’m going to go inside and set a timer for two minutes. If you are not inside by the time the timer goes off, you will not be able to play outside the rest of the evening.” The timer will put a specific amount of time that s/he has to respond and will hold you accountable for following through on your consequence.

Continued…

Within this one site you will find EVERYTHING you’re looking for related to:

• Neurodevelopmental disorders—including Autism, Asperger’s Syndrome, PDD-NOS, ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, Nonverbal Learning Disability, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Learning Disabilities, Developmental Delays, Mental Impairment, Speech and Language Delays, Feeding Disorders, Sensory Processing Disorders, Epilepsy, Cerebral Palsy, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Tourette Syndrome, and many others
• Child development
• Educational strategies and treatment options
• Balancing the needs of all your students

Schooling Minds™ is the go-to place for professionals like you!

Parent Success Cards

For CORE Approach Program families, these cards provide reminders of the main principles of CORE Approach such as the importance of experience sharing, guiding, slowing down, staying focused on the marathon, finding small moments for remediation, and much more. You will find them an invaluable source of inspiration and guidance as you focus on remediation.

Set of 50 heavyweight full-color cards in a sturdy box with lid – $24.95

Purchase the set or view more samples here

Please join us!

• CORE Approach Parent Teleseminar: Q&A with Michelle and Courtney
  (Horizons Families Only)
  Monday, December 7, 2009 from 1:00-2:00 PM EST
• Family Fun Event: Holiday Santa Event – Santa, cookies (sugar & gluten-free), crafts, games, and more!
  (Horizons Families Only)
  Friday, December 11, 2009 from 5:00-8:00 PM EST
• Holiday CAMP: This is a great opportunity to let the kids come and enjoy some time away while you finish up holiday shopping or preparations that are more easily done without them!
  Children ages 4-12 with neurodevelopmental disorders.
  Monday, December 20, 2009 from 9:00 AM-1:00 PM EST
• Holiday CAMP: This is a great opportunity to let the kids come and enjoy some time away while you finish up holiday shopping or preparations that are more easily done without them!
  Children ages 4-12 with neurodevelopmental disorders.
  Monday, December 21, 2009 from 9:00 AM-1:00 PM EST
• Workshop – Evaluating for Autism: The
  Nuts and Bolts of Quality School-Based Autism Spectrum Disorder Evaluations
  Thursday, Feburary 11, 2009
• Workshop – Autism in the Classroom: Simple &
  Effective Strategies to Learn Today and Use Tomorrow
  Friday, March 12, 2009
• Workshop – Day of Change: A Groundbreaking Workshop for Parents of Children with Autism and Other Neurodevelopmental Disorders
  Saturday, March 13, 2009
• Extreme Makeover: Autism Education Edition
  August 4-6, 2010