Welcome to “On the Horizon”

Issue 78:  “Not Now” Doesn’t Mean “Never” – Parent Expectations in the Context of Child Development

On the Horizon is an award winning weekly ezine for parents of children with developmental disabilities who want simple, effective strategies to reduce stress, support their child’s development, and improve quality of life for the whole family.

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Great Ideas

A Note from Nicole: Quick Trip to Chicago; More News this Week

Idea of the Week:  Hopscotch

Feature Article: “Not Now” Doesn’t Mean “Never”- Parent Expectations in the Context of Child Development

The Horizons Team Recommends: Raising Minds®

Upcoming Events: Sibshop; CORE Approach Parent Teleseminar

Hi Everyone!

I had a wonderful weekend in Chicago with my husband and kids.  We stayed at a hotel with a water park and got tickets to see the Harry Potter exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry.  It was a fun weekend of quality time with the kids, and my older boys were very glad to have something cool to journal about in school this week!

It seems like I’ve had lots of news to announce to you all recently, and I’ve got more this week!  As of today you can get information on all of the workshop events we have coming up for the rest of 2009 and through the summer of 2010.  It’s taken quite a bit of organizing to make this come together, but you all have been asking for more workshop options and advance notice, so we wanted to make that happen for you.  You can go to www.HorizonsDRCWorkshops.com to get all the information on the 4 different workshops we are offering in the coming months.  We have some for professionals as well as parents, and there are multiple dates to choose from.  Check out the site and we hope to see you at an event soon!

The article this week is one I wrote when my daughter was younger about developmentally-appropriate expectations for our children.  She is now older than when I originally wrote the article, and the current issues with her are different.  However, the message about setting appropriate expectations and being willing to let some things go for now still definitely applies!

Looking to the horizon,

Hopscotch

Create a hopscotch course on an open area on the driveway or empty parking lot with some sidewalk chalk.  Make it whatever size you want it to be.  Have each person collect a stone to throw into a square of the hopscotch course.  When it’s your turn, throw your stone onto a square and hop on one leg or two (depending on how many squares across the course is), retrieve your stone, turn around and come back.  This is a great way to practice hopping and coordination as well as taking turns.  Have fun creating your hopscotch course and making it look fun, as well as learning how to hop within your hopscotch squares!

“Not Now” Doesn’t Mean “Never” – Parent Expectations in the Context of Child Development

By: Nicole Beurkens, M.Ed.

My husband and I had three sons when our daughter joined our family.  I was thrilled with the idea of finally being able to put one of my children in dresses, buy cute little shoes, and do her hair.  After three boys, it was time for me to have another female in the house to share my love of all things girly!  When she was tiny, I was easily able to put cute little things in her hair and she left them there.  At some point all her baby hair fell out so there really wasn’t much hair to do anything with (I resorted to headbands for photos!).  Fast-forward to the present time, and my daughter is now 14 months old.  She has a lovely head of thick, dark, curly hair that is just begging to be done up in cute bows, pigtails, and tiny braids.

There is just one small problem—she refuses to leave the darn things in!  I have tried everything—winding the hair bands tighter, doing her hair while she has a snack to distract her, buying different types of clips, doing her hair while wet, and doing her hair while dry.  You name it and I have tried it.  I really thought I had her beat last week when I washed her hair and spent time putting it in small little twists all over her head.  I used tiny little hair bands that were “guaranteed” (according to the package) not to pull out.  She looked so cute, and I was feeling really good about having finally triumphed over her in the hair department.  And then she went to bed.  And in the night I heard her up laughing and laughing and laughing.  And in the morning her hair looked like she’d gotten way too close to an electrical outlet, with every single hair band strewn around the floor of her room.  What’s a mother to do?!

My husband has been watching this drama from afar all these weeks, and has put up with my scowls when I come home and her hair is running wild all over her head.  He gives me the story behind how it came to be that the hair décor she had when I left the house in the morning is no longer—she tried to eat the bows; she threw the hair bands on the floor; she got mad and yanked them out; and on and on.  Finally this past weekend he said something that didn’t make me happy at the time, but that I know makes sense.  He suggested that our daughter just isn’t ready to keep bows in her hair, and at some point she will be able to do that.  However, in the meantime maybe I should stop setting myself up for disappointment and struggles between us and just let it go.  Darn, I hate it when he’s right!

Continued…

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life. What would it be like if you could help your child learn to:

• Attend to the right things at the right time
• Thoughtfully communicate—not just talk in memorized or mechanical ways
• Be genuinely interested in the emotions, ideas, and actions of others
• Take responsibility for actions
• Flexibly adapt to change
• Understand the intentions of others
• Come up with creative ideas and solutions
• Have meaningful conversations
• Develop curiosity about other people, events, and things in the environment
• Be self-aware—know who s/he is as a person and how s/he is being perceived by others

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Please join us!

• Horizons Family Fun Event:
  (Horizons Families Only)
  Klackle Orchard in Greenville, MI – apples, pumpkins, hayrides, and more!
  Saturday, October 17, 2009 from 9:30am – 12:00pm
• West Michigan Sensory Awareness Event:
  Open to everyone!
  Showing of the movie “Autistic Like” to raise awareness of Sensory Processing Disorder and share information about how Horizons can help those with sensory issues.
  Saturday, October 24, 2009  at 10am EST
• Workshop – Evaluating for Autism:
  The Nuts and Bolts of Quality School-Based Autism Spectrum Disorder Evaluations
  Thursday, October, 29 2009
• Sibshop – Horizons Sibling Network
  Open to everyone!
  Saturday, November 7, 2009, 10:00 AM to 2:00 PM EST
• Horizons Parent Education Day
  (Horizons Families Only)
  Topic: Remediation-Friendly Treatments for Feeding Problems and Sensory Processing Disorders  Saturday November 14, 2009 from 10am-4pm
• CORE Approach Parent Teleseminar: Topic To Be Announced
  (Horizons Families Only)
  Thursday, November 19, 2009 from 11-12pm EST
• Workshop – Autism in the Classroom: Simple &
  Effective Strategies to Learn Today and Use Tomorrow 
  Friday, November 20, 2009
• Workshop – Day of Change: A Groundbreaking Workshop for Parents of Children with Autism and Other Neurodevelopmental Disorders
  Saturday, November 21, 2009
• Workshop – Evaluating for Autism: The Nuts and Bolts of Quality School-Based Autism Spectrum Disorder Evaluations
  Thursday, Feburary 11, 2009
• Workshop – Autism in the Classroom: Simple & Effective Strategies to Learn Today and Use Tomorrow 
  Friday, March 12, 2009
• Workshop – Day of Change:A
  Groundbreaking Workshop for Parents of Children with Autism and Other Neurodevelopmental Disorders
  Saturday, March 13, 2009
• Extreme
  Makeover: Autism Education Edition
  August 4-6, 2010