Horizons Developmental Resource Center
Evaluation and Treatment of Autism, Aspergers, ADHD, Learning Disabilities, Sensory Processing Disorder, Behavior Disorders
By: Erin Roon, MA CCC-SLP
Take a moment to read this short conversation between a mother and son. As you read, think about what is being communicated. Are you able to get a picture in your head?
“Hey mom, you’ll never believe this! I saw a baby turtle in the road.”
“Really, I wonder how big it was.”
With the dawn of a new calendar year comes the urge to make big changes in our lives. There is something about starting a fresh calendar with the entire year ahead that gets us thinking about all the things we might do over the next 12 months. If we are honest with ourselves most of the things we aspire to change are tough, and many of us fail before we really even get started. While it can seem like a good idea to set big sweeping goals, it is also overwhelming and can be a recipe for staying stagnant and making no changes at all.
Positive and negative. Hope and despair. Optimism and Pessimism. I don’t have to look far on most days to see the stark contrast that exists between these two very different sides of the same coin. In my work with families of children with special needs the realities of challenges are all too real, and the potential for families to fall into negative thinking all too common. Yet even in the most challenging of circumstances optimism can grow and flourish. I see it daily in families faced with incredible obstacles.
I’m not sure if you can answer this question for me or not, but it’s something that has been on my mind as my son is getting older. He is going to turn 16 years old in November and my husband and I are unsure what we may need to do as far as guardianship for him in the future. We know some families who have gotten guardianship for their adult children with disabilities, but I’ve also heard from some people who say there are better alternatives. Do you have any information or suggestions of where we can get information or options we should consider?
Thank you,
Sherry in Traverse City, MI
My husband and I enjoy playing games with our two sons, and have used games as a great avenue for addressing our older son’s developmental challenges. I realized the other day that we are all bored with many of the games we have and need to get some new ideas. I know you have written before about using games in your clinic. Can you recommend some fresh ideas for our family? The boys are ages 7 and 11.
Thank you,
Debbie in Jackson, MI
My husband and I both work and have three children at home, two of whom have various developmental issues. One of the biggest challenges we have is making time for quality activities with the kids when we are home with them. Do you have any suggestions for us?
-Julie in Sacremento, CA
I enjoy reading your newsletter each week and always find a lot of great support and strategies! One thing I struggle with is coming up with ideas of things to do with my two children. I have a 7 year-old son who is blind and has a cognitive impairment. I also have a 4 year-old daughter who doesn’t have any disabilities. When we have time to do things together I’m not sure what to do, and struggle to come up with ideas that allow me to be with both kids at the same time. Do you have any suggestions?
Thanks,
Laila in Kentucky
My baby just turned 4. One of the things we decided to do to celebrate his birthday was to build him a new sandbox. I’m so glad we have my dad around; because if it were up to my husband and me to build it, we’d have a pile of sand in the middle of a bunch of rocks. It would have been washed away and gone in no time at all. So my dad shows up one day to “help” build the sandbox. When my son came out to help with his Fisher Price tools, the scene was priceless. My dad would cut a piece of wood, and my son would be “cutting another” at the same time with his “tools and his protective eye gear” – working side by side. As my dad got to the point where the piece of wood was about to break, he’d ask my son to come over and kick the plank apart. Sure enough, one swift kick from a 3 year old and it would fall apart. My son was beaming, and so proud of his role in building the sandbox. My dad gave him other roles as well: bringing over the landscape planks, standing on the weed control fabric so it wouldn’t pull away, and bringing a bucket of sand down to start the sandbox. He was a natural at including and empowering my son. The look on my son’s face said it all. Here are a few things to consider when including your child in day-to-day activities:
My husband and I had three sons when our daughter joined our family. I was thrilled with the idea of finally being able to put one of my children in dresses, buy cute little shoes, and do her hair. After three boys, it was time for me to have another female in the house to share my love of all things girly! When she was tiny, I was easily able to put cute little things in her hair and she left them there. At some point all her baby hair fell out so there really wasn’t much hair to do anything with (I resorted to headbands for photos!). When she was about 14 months old she had a lovely head of thick, dark, curly hair that is just begging to be done up in cute bows, pigtails, and tiny braids.
There is just one small problem – she refused to leave the darn things in! I tried everything – winding the hair bands tighter, doing her hair while she has a snack to distract her, buying different types of clips, doing her hair while wet, and doing her hair while dry. You name it and I tried it. I really thought I had her beat one week when I washed her hair and spent time putting it in small little twists all over her head. I used tiny little hair bands that were “guaranteed” (according to the package) not to pull out. She looked so cute, and I was feeling really good about having finally triumphed over her in the hair department. And then she went to bed. And in the night I heard her up laughing and laughing and laughing. And in the morning her hair looked like she’d gotten way too close to an electrical outlet, with every single hair band strewn around the floor of her room. What’s a mother to do?!
Each time when I meet with families, we talk about the progress their child is making on their objectives. I start by asking parents to provide me with information on the successes they have seen in their child over the past few weeks. Sometimes the progress is measured in the smallest fraction of an inch, and at other times the child makes multiple inches of progress. Whether the progress is small or large, we view that as success. As the title of this article states, progress is measured in inches – not miles. I view every little success as adding up to inches that turn into miles.
There are times when families feel as though they are stuck and not making much progress. I will admit that sometimes the progress is really slow, but more often than not progress is being made; it just may not be in the area we are focusing on. I have parents come in to meet with me and report, “We don’t really feel like we have made progress on our objective”; and then they state, “Johnny is now fully potty trained.” Wow, that is huge progress in a month’s time; it just wasn’t progress on the specific objective we were targeting. It can be really difficult sometimes to take that step back and find the progress; but I can guarantee that unless the child has been really ill or no work at all has been done, there will be some progress made.
